Musing on Survivor Series (Why we won't see any title matches and then card predictions)

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This month’s Survivor Series is shaping up to be historic for a variety of ways;  the most important of which has absolutely nothing to do with the potential disappearance of The Authority or any supposed heel or face turns that may or may not occur.

For the first time in almost 10 years, we are likely to have a Pay Per View with absolutely zero title matches.

Using the wonder of ProFightDB, I went back through the last 128 PPV events, searching for the last one that didn’t feature one championship contest.  I had to go back all the way to One Night Stand from 2005 until I found one, and that’s even debatable to use since, as an ECW reunion show, there wouldn’t be any title matches anyway.  I could go back further. . . but that sounds like hard work to me.

How odd is this phenomenon?  There have only been 2 PPV’s in that same time period to only feature a single title defense.  Now, to be fair, the majority of these last 10 years have featured at least 2 (and sometimes 3) brands, so title matches are an expected occurrence for culmination events, as most PPV’s are.  But still, 128 events is a loooooong time.

“Now, DC,” you might be saying to yourselves, “we don’t know for sure that Survivor Series won’t feature a title match.  What makes you think it’s going to happen?”  And as always, dear reader, I’m glad you asked.  I humbly submit my two (yes, only two) reasons for believing we will see no title matches at Survivor Series.

The Teacher's Book: 9 New Tag Teams to save the Division

Let’s face it, folks. . . Tag team wrestling, at least in the WWE, stinks.  As I blogged about in my HIAC recap, there have been 3 sets of tag champs in the last 12 months… Two of those teams are the ones we saw on Sunday (Dust Brothers and Usos) and the other is Mr. Ass and Road Dogg, the New Age Outlaws, who were 50 and 44 years old during their reign.

Let that sink in for a second; Billy Gunn is 50 years old.

We’ve seen a lot of Rhodes and Usos in 2014, mainly because they are really the only teams going.  You can’t (and I won’t) count Slater-Gator and Los Matadores, at least not until they show me they are more than comedy duos, and that’s it.

It’s a shame - tag team wrestling can be some of the most entertaining - the psychology involved with cutting the ring off, isolating a single opponent; the struggle leading up to the hot tag, then the fresh man coming in like a house of fire - just the fact that 4 wrestlers allows for more combinations and ideally more intrigue.

So this is a problem in today’s WWE.  You know what another problem is?  A seemingly non-existent direction for many superstars, particularly the ones on the lower tier, though many established talents are suffering as well.

Putting on my fantasy booker hat, I am setting out to fix both problems at the same time.  I submit to you, dear reader, 9 tag-team possibilities that would revitalize a barren division and flailing gimmicks.  I’ll even go as far as to recommend a tag finisher, since I seem to have match-ending moves on the brain lately.

Raw Response (10/28) - A Standing RKO-vation

The best part of Monday Night RAW took place in the unlikeliest of settings - the opening segment.  Usually reserved for booking main events or “Weekly Authority Parade”, last night’s opener was about as unexpectedly un-WWE as possible, and the cause came from the most unbelievable of sources. . .  One Randall Keith Orton.

This is, if memory serves, the first time I’ll speak about Randy Orton for more than just a few sentences, mainly because over the last decade no single talent has irritated me more, both on a personal and professional level, than The Viper.  Be it the uber-frat boy looks or the seemingly pointless tattoos, the completely juvenile backstage antics or the reportedly disdainful ways he treats fans and the media, Orton has never done anything for me as a wrestler.  In fact, up until a few weeks ago, I never even gave him the credit he may have deserved for being such a naturally gifted in-ring talent - I couldn’t see past the person to appreciate the persona, as it were.

What changed, you may ask?  The introduction of Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose into the main event picture.  While I would normally fast-forward through any Authority promo or Orton match (for instance, I chose to ignore his entire mini-feud with Roman Reigns), with Seth and Dean in the mix, I suddenly had a reason to pay attention.  And I liked what I saw.

This Orton was different from the one I remembered.  This one seemed. . . grown up, even if he was involved in a “sibling rivalry” type feud with Rollins over who was the Authority’s golden boy.  Instead of being the young kid punting legends in order to make a name for himself, Randy now stood as the grizzled veteran, irritated at the new stud taking his spotlight.  But that wasn’t all that was different.   I couldn’t really put my finger on it until recently.  Somebody said something on Twitter that struck me.

Orton cared.

The Teacher Tells About Hell in a Cell.

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Hell in a Cell has come and gone, my friends, and while I did not get to see the live Twitter-verse reactions, I can tell that the overall impressions are positive.  As they should be, it was a quality show, which as many who don’t #PromotePositivity as much as I do would say, is a rare thing.  

I had a fractured viewing of it (watched the first hour last night and the remainder between 3:45 and 5:15 this morning), so I’m probably not the best person to judge the overall product.  However, while I did enjoy the vast majority of what I saw, I can’t help but feel like I am wanting more.  In some cases, that’s a positive, but in others, not so much.

Maybe its that I have more questions than answers right now, so for today’s review, here’s what’s in store:

• General impressions on each match
• My favorite moment of each match (for some, this will require a re-viewing)
• A lingering question, which will most likely transition into
• What’s next, both for the talents and the feud itself

We start with the pre-show, where besides Paul Heyman’s deliciously disdainful commentary, the best part was

Mizdow TV

Hell in a Cell Predictions

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One of the premiere baseball writers of my generation and fellow New Englander Buster Olney always mocks the fact that, every spring, he is asked to make his predictions for the playoff and World Series teams for the following October.   Being asked to project 6+ months ahead when there are so many variables that can change the fate of a franchise is ludicrous.  For proof, go back and look at how many “experts” accurately predicted a Giants / Royals World Series.  I imagine it’s zero, and that includes those writers who live in either San Francisco or Kansas City.

While we have similar problems in the sport of wrestling (Come on WWE and Kurt Angle, I still believe you can make my ‘Mania 31 main event dreams come true!), we have a much easier time when it comes to making PPV predictions.  To that end, it’s time to gaze 50 or so hours into the future and make my guesses as to the winners and losers for Sunday’s Hell in a Cell extravaganza.  Just for fun, I’ll also add who I believe SHOULD win (which often is different from who I predict WILL), and throw in my assumed match order for good measure.

In fact, let’s go even further, and start with the…

Pre-Show

The Teacher's Lounge: Why the best match of Sunday's PPV WON'T be in a Cell.

Quickly, without thinking, who is the best wrestler in WWE?

Right off the top of your head, who you got?

Time is ticking away, hurry up!  Who is it?

. . .

You picked Ziggler or Cesaro, didn’t you?  I’m willing to bet most of you did.  Oh sure, some of you MAY have said Seth Rollins. . . I bet even a small few of you picked Randy Orton.  And we all know that one guy who said “John Cena”, just to be a jackass…

But if we picked a random sampling of 100 fans and asked them who the best wrestler was - not their favorite, per se, but just the most talented between the ropes, Dolph Ziggler or Antonio Cesaro would be the top names mentioned.

Now, while I could spend quite a few lines bemoaning the lack of solid direction or push that Cesaro, Ziggler or the IC belt itself has received over the last 12 months, this is not what this column is about.  Being The Teacher, I’m all about #PromotingPositivity, so if you don’t mind, I’m about to make a very bold statement of optimism.

Ziggler and Cesaro are going to steal the show this Sunday.

Rapid Reflections (a working title) - Thoughts on the week in wrestling.

Ahhh. . .  Nothing like a random stomach virus mixed with a head cold, resulting in a 13 hour sleep session Friday night to totally screw up your grand blogging plans for the weekend.  However, we here at Number Two Contenders are not long swayed.  Fresh off our “restful” few days away from long-form wrestling writing, let’s ease back in with a new segment, in which we take a look at some of the major stories from this world we love so much and break them down in short, poorly thought out paragraphs.

But before we start, a “quick” aside. . .  As previously mentioned, I’m not just called The Teacher; I play one in real life.  In my class last week I was doing an activity with the youngsters I have been charged with educating.  In said activity, I wrote a paragraph with no capital letters or end punctuation on the board and they had to tell me where to put said grammatical notations.

So I wrote, I displayed, I read it to them, and yet they were finding it difficult to do as I had asked.  As I pondered why, a thought overtook me.

“I write ridiculously long sentences.”

Seriously, go look at that first paragraph I just wrote.  Three sentences, but two of them are mighty lengthy.  In fact, one might easily find a home inside a Faulkner novel.  (Note: I have no idea what Faulkner is credited with penning, except that he wrote very long sentences.)

Anyway, the next day I retaught the lesson with shorter sentences and lo, the children had a much easier time with their task.

Why do I mention this, dear readers?  Well, I’m curious if you have the same troubles or frustrations that my 7 year olds do.  Dost my sentences of depth dismay ye?  Let me know.

Alright, on to the rapid reflections. . . Hey, that’s a good title. . . I might stick with that.